to adia may rico;

at about 5:30 on monday, october 9th, we realized that you were on your way. your mom was really happy and had just gotten off the phone with your aunt grace, who told her that you were knocking on the door. when she picked me up at work, she was having contractions about 7 minutes apart.

when we got to the apartment, we quickly realized that the contractions were closer to 3 minutes apart, on average. the euphoria that your mommy had when she first realized that she didn’t have to wait any more gave way to moments of pain as the contractions began to gradually increase. we called the midwife and told her that we’d prefer if she didn’t go to prayer meeting before coming to help us. it sounds kinda selfish now, and in retrospect it really wasn’t necessary. we were concerned, though. mom’s pain threshold is much higher now than it was before you started your journey.

we decided that it would be good for her to take a dip in the pool (never mind that it was 60 degrees outside), and i walked cady while the water eased her discomfort a bit. when i got back to the pool, the doula (laura bailey) was just arriving and she walked back to the apartment with us. your mom was pretty cold at that point.

in a little while, the midwife (debi church) and her assistant (michelle & 3-month-old daughter addison) showed up and helped laura with the household chores that we hadn’t been able to get done before labor started. i felt bad but they insisted that they were there to help and our dishes got washed, kitchen got cleaned, and laundry got washed and folded. they were wonderful servants of Christ.

in the meantime, i was with mom while she dealt with the pain and started to come to terms with the long process ahead of her. i was able to keep my ring on without it hurting too much when she squeezed my hand, and just feeling it and seeing it comforted her a bit.

labor was a long, long time, adia. you were stubborn. for whatever reason, mommy wasn’t ready to push you out for 28 hours! during that time she cried, moaned, moved rhythmically to distract herself from the pain, breathed really fast (and was reminded by me or one of the helpers to breathe slow and deep), ate a little bit, drank small sips of water every so often, and tried some apple juice for the sugar. we discovered that apple juice made her throw up.

sometimes the pain made her throw up, too. usually, after lifting her head away from the bucket, she said that she couldn’t go on any longer. had she known at the start of labor that it would be so long, i think it would have demoralized her completely.

when i ate supper on monday night it was around 9:30 and laura forced me to eat because i kept forgetting. when i brought my bowl of chili into the bedroom, your mom immediately said, “ugh! chili! go away!” i was able to eat my lunch the next day while sitting behind her on the bed, though. i got crumbs from my panera-bread-grilled-chicken-sandwich in her hair, though. i didn’t tell her.

i was able to sleep for two hours on monday night around midnight, and then woke up for a couple of hours to support your mommy. i slept for three hours after that. sleep was a Godsend for me, because i didn’t have any seizures due to exhaustion. the midwives helped me remember to take my medications at the right times, too.

it seemed that the contractions were worse when she was lying down, but she was just so tired! when she sat on the birth ball or on the toilet, it was easier for her to grab both my hands and feel supported in that way, and it was also better for the process to let gravity do some of the work.

during the last few times she sat on the toilet or at the foot of the bed on the birth ball (towards the end of her ordeal), it was necessary for me to actively distract her from the pain. she was in agony every 2 minutes, and slept in between. when the next contraction awakened her, she woke with a shocked look on her face and grabbed for something to hold on to. most of the time it was my hands, sometimes it was my forearms, and once she got me in a headlock.

i thought that was funny but i didn’t want to laugh. never upset a woman who is in labor.

the last time i sat in front of her while she was on the toilet (around 6:30 tuesday evening), i saw something for the first time. i had been seeing it as it formed, but when it was in full force it blew me away.

your mother, in the middle of her contraction, obeyed my command, “look at me!” i was distracting her from her reaction to the pain. as she looked, i saw that her eyes were completely full of pain. [in your life, you will probably have the same look in your little eyes, and you will see it in other eyes, and then you will understand what i mean.]

i think that eyes are the only thing capable of being completely full of two different things. when your mom looked at me in pain, her eyes were completely full of trust as well. when i saw that, i almost cried. i held back because i needed to be strength for your mommy to hold in her weakness.

at that instant, i saw in her eyes every child of God who has ever experienced pain and yet trusted the Savior. and i felt like Christ. i was strength in her weakness, wanting to cry with her but doing the best thing for her. commanding, “embrace the pain . . . good . . . let it come – don’t try to stop it . . . breathe . . . grab my hand . . . you’re doing a great job . . . i’m here.”

your birth was wonderful, adia. but i am much more changed by that vision in your mother’s eyes.

shortly after the mountaintop experience on the toilet, she began pushing and didn’t stop for two hours. i was sitting behind her on the bed, and she was leaning against me and forcing all of her energy downward. at the end of all that screaming and shouting and hoarse crying, my fingers were hurting and you were outside for the first time!

you were purplish in color, and needed suction to get mucous out of your nose and throat. gradually, as you breathed, and as you cried (that, because the midwife slapped the bottom of your foot really hard), you turned into a little pink baby with an elongated head from your passage. you were rubbed down, given a bath, and then handed to me screaming.

you quieted and opened your eyes toward me as i said your name to you for the first time.

adia.

gift of god.